Traffic Chaos in Treorchy As Severn Bridge Tolls Are Axed

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There was absolute traffic chaos and bedlam at Stag Square Treorchy today, with queues of traffic stretching for miles and miles, and all because the Severn Bridge tolls have been axed.

Extra congestion had always been predicted by experts when the bridge tolls closed, with fears of the traffic bottleneck moving from the toll booths further into the country, perhaps to Newport or Cardiff, but these so-called experts could not have predicted the scenes of anarchy outside Davies and Jones’ Optometrists in Treorchy today.

Now that vehicles can travel into Wales unhindered by queues at the tolls, coupled with tight English people who have been waiting years to visit our country who are now taking advantage of the free bridge, the bottleneck has most definitely moved, but it’s moved to the Rhondda.

Jonathan Uphill from Ynyswen, who works in Bristol said, “I thought I was quids in when I flew across the bridge and down the M4 without any traffic or tolls, then I hit a queue just past Ponty, and that was me stuck until The Stag lights. Fair play though, once past the lights, there was no traffic and I was home in no time.”

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Big City
Mary Fringe from Blaenllechau said, “It’s absolutely ridiculous really, never mind an M4 relief road, those lazy spongers in The Assembly better start thinking about a Treorchy bypass, I was 2 hours getting from Lidl to Iceland. It’s the last time I visit this big city, I’d rather shop in Blaen.”

Lyndon Flaps from the council told us that plans are already afoot regarding a Treorchy bypass, that could link the current Gelli bypass to Pentre/Treorchy at the Maindy, and then on to the A4061 in Ynyswen, but locals think that all the town (Treorchy) needs is for the council to turn off the lights at the Stag Square, and turn the junction into a mini-roundabout.

Silly Plan
My Rhondda News put this idea to Mr Flaps, and he told us, “Don’t be silly, that’s far too simple an idea, the council could not even consider first trialing something that costs as little as turning off the lights and painting a circle on the floor, we’d rather spend millions on a by-pass that we think will help traffic flow, and a new bypass probably most definitely won’t kill the high street too.”

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  1. Its great being stuck at the Treorchy traffic lights, gives me a chance to play my music full blast so everyone can enjoy it, innit.


  2. Vehicles will soon be disappearing into the pothole that is in the middle of the crossing between the Stag and the travel agents. Should ease the flow on the High Street.


  3. A roundabout ? You trying to confuse people? Have not even seen any traffic lights. I thought they were xmas lights.


  4. When I was young, our sheep in Treorci relied on the traffic lights to cross the road. They were more intelligent than the local councillors in those days! !


  5. Omg I just feel annoyed when I read this shite, there have always been problems with traffic by the stag square since I can remember, everybody has to blame something other than an incompetent council, it’s a wonder brexit hasn’t been blamed.. to all the stupid people the tolls coming down hopefully will generate business into wales instead of a French company holding the purse strings of the tolls with f…k all being spent on wales.. NOW WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE STUPID PEOPLE..THE


  6. Nonsense I live high street treorchy and the traffic always been horrendous and haven’t really changed any since the tolls have gone it’s always been terrible there was talk about a byepass but the last I’ve heard on that it wasn’t feasible due to the costs involved.


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