Blaenllechau Scarecrow Sparks Major Rescue

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Chaos descended on the valleys today when a harmless scarecrow sparked a major rescue bid above the small Rhondda village of Blaenllechau.

The Police, Ambulance, Fire Services were all called, and later on so were the RSPCA, when local resident Mary Fringe, called 999 when she believed that old Vernon Jones from Long Row had been stuck on the mountain side for over twenty-four hours.

But what everyone thought was Vernon was in fact a scarecrow, that had been put there simply to guard over some flowers that were recently planted on the mountain side.

The Scarecrow above Blaenllechau
The Scarecrow above Blaenllechau

A crowd of locals gathered on the square in Blaenllechau and spent hours calling to the scarecrow, who was wearing Vernon’s jacket. “We were really worried about Vern.”, said Mary, “We were calling him for hours but he just didn’t turn around to wave or anything.”

After several hours, they decided to call 999.

The Scarecrow up close.
The Scarecrow up close.

Sergeant Bob Roberts of South Wales Police told us, “We did think about prosecuting Mary for wasting police time, but we believe she acted in good faith, plus I got to go in the helicopter on a glorious day, the views were spectacular.”

Vernon Jones told us, “It’s absolutely ridiculous really, as if I’d be wearing that coat in this weather, it’s bloody summer. They should have come and knocked my door, I was in all the time watching the Olympics.”

A spokesman for the RSPCA told My Rhondda News that they don’t condone the use of scarecrows as it can cause unnecessary stress to birds.

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  1. Who planted the flowers ( was it Vernon Jones himself ? ) – and more importantly, why ?

    If it wasn’t Vernon Long Row then did he donate the jacket for the enterprise or was it stolen ?

    Does Mary Fringe have the use of her legs at all ?

    Were all the locals gathered in the square similarly afflicted ?

    Is this paralysis of the limbs peculiar to the residents of Blaenllechau or is it also typically found among local members of the Emergency Services ?

    If Sargent Bob Roberts hadn’t enjoyed his helicopter ride and the spectacular views quite as much, would Mary Fringe be languishing in Cardiff Goal at this time ?

    Is the RSPCA able to tell us exactly how many of Blaenllechau’s birds may have suffered stress during the 24 hour emergency ?

    Would Old Vern’s alibi stand up in court ?


  2. What’s wrong with Scarecrows? They are an integral part of rural society and quite rightly frightening little kids and giving them nightmares! The world is going bonkers!


  3. I reckon it was probably some wag trying to play a joke on Vern Long Row by making him think he was out on the mountain when he wasn’t. Mary completely ruined the prank by calling the emergency services in before Vern noticed he was up the mountain. Spoilsport!


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