Rhondda Hard Man Gutted About Black Friday Poor Show

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Rhondda hardman, Terry Perry, has today expressed his disappointment about this year’s Black Friday. Terry had hoped for a repeat of last year’s shenanigans at local shops, and got tooled up for a ‘bit of a scuffle’ only to find the shops deserted.

“It’s absolutely ridiculous really,” said Terry, “I blame the internet for making everyone a bit soft, rather than come out for a fight, people would rather buy their stuff online. Pussies.”

Black Friday is the day following Thanksgiving Day in America and is regarded as the beginning of the Christmas shopping season, most major retailers open very early and sell crap they can’t normally sell for cheap. For some reason, just like naming storms, us British have to follow suit and try and be all American.

Debbie’s Discount
Terry started his day in Morrison’s in Porth and sucessfuly bought a 42″ Beko Plasma Screen TV for only £139, disapointingly without any trouble. He then went on to Debbie’s Discounts in Ferndale, where he managed to obtain several scourers, a bumper pack of pegs, and slush puppy for £2, but again he experienced no trouble at all.

Ponty
Terry went on to say, “I blame the media really, last year they bigged it all up showing people fighting over tellys and stuff, but nothing like that today. At the end of the day I’d have been better off just going to Ponty on the piss and staring at some bloke.”

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9 responses to “Rhondda Hard Man Gutted About Black Friday Poor Show”

Sandra M

28th Nov 2015

Pity this hard man didn’t put his energy into finding a job. I know that is easier said than done but there are better ways of spending your time. Obviously going to Ponty on the piss is his answer to too much time on his hands.

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1. Joe King-Munn
  
  28th Nov 2015
  
  Terry has got a job. He had a night shift Friday.
  
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Christal

28th Nov 2015

Sandra M, if he gets a job, who’s gonna be around to ‘sort’ his mates problems out? He’s tooled up remember.

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Idiot

28th Nov 2015

What a fing idiot! Hardman! Pfft if he has to brand himself a hardman then he clearly isnt!… why are there such inbreds in the valleys….

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1. Anonymous
  
  28th Nov 2015
  
  Uh excuse me just because we have a few odd balls among us don’t think u can go labeling us all the same, every town city village valley etc has them, its nothing to do with the valleys he would be a tooled up thug no matter where he’s from
  
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Martyn

28th Nov 2015

Well there was ructions in the 99p shop in Ponty!!! The staff were fighting back customers with sticks and Jedi swords. The Manager said to me ” Bloody hell it’s like Rourkes Drift in there” !! I blame the Yanks and S4C !!! Retail carnage !!!

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Busterbagshot

28th Nov 2015

He should have come over the Llanover arms. John Collenso was practically giving his beer and cider away.Chris had to stop his on-line Italian lessons to beat them back into the car park. Bring it on in the Llan Hard man, come down Christmas Carol night for a bruising !!

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Martyn

28th Nov 2015

Just come back from the new LIDL in Ponty and there’s only Tumbleweed blowing down the isles !!! The girl on the till said ” It’s like the Marie Celeste in here. The Manager went out the back about 5 hours ago and we have not seen him since. We think the STASI might have snatched him?”

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Rong Price

29th Nov 2015

Every weekend is Black Friday for me, my auntie works in a large store on the self serve counter and i get a twelve quid joint of beef for the price of a tin of cheap beans…..Every little helps.

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