Neighbourpooed Watch

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My Rhondda News has gained evidence that the authorities plan to use the Rhondda as a pilot area for its latest initiative against dog fouling, and they want you to do the dirty work.

Spy in the Sky
Rhondda residents will soon be able to apply to become Armchair Drone Pilots (ADPs). ADPs will control Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAVs) from the comfort of their own living room using a tablet or laptop. The UAVs will be fitted with heat sensitive cameras and be used to spy on dog walkers, secretly recording anyone letting their dog foul and not pick it up.

Lazy People
“The Rhondda has a serious problem with dog fouling, so it seemed like a good place to trial the scheme.”, a spokesman for the project said, “Also, there a lots of people from this area who sit on their sofas all day using their tablets, so it’s perfect for us.”

Operating the drones will be as easy as playing a computer game, and commission will be earned by the operators for every person they catch allowing their dog to foul and not pick it up.

Jeremy Kyle
It’s absolutely brilliant really,” said Chelsea Jones from Penrhys, “I’ll be able to earn money while I watch daytime TV, it’s my dream job really.” Steve Humpton from Pontygwaith Dog Walking Club said, “Obviously this is just another money making idea from the powers that be, I hope they see sense and spend the money on something else like a new one way system maybe.”

Voice from Above
The drones will also be fitted with loud speakers so the ADPs will be able to issue commands to dog walkers, like “Pick it up you dirty twat!”
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  1. Always the motorist or dog owners getting hit! Why not the fly tippers who actually cost us money through our taxes and waste our beautiful country because they are too lazy to go to recycle units?


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