Welsh Government Hire Donald Sutherland To Point At English People Spotted Holidaying In Wales.

The Welsh Government has hired Donald Sutherland in order to help enforce its latest lockdown rules. This weekend, self contained holiday accommodation is opening up in Wales and the staylocal rule is being relaxed, but people from outside Wales are not allowed to travel into Wales for holidays.

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Anthony Tawny, a government spokesman, told us that Mr Sutherland will be employed to roam the promenades of places like Porthcawl and Aberavon, listening for English accents, and to dramatically point at anyone who sounds English, in the style he made famous in the film, “Invasion Of The Body Snatchers”. “We hope that Welsh people will also also adopt this pointing technique too”, said Tawny.

Mary Fringe from Blaenllechau said, “It’s absolutely ridiculous really, what about people from Cowbridge, they won’t stand a chance, my old neighbour moved there three months ago and now she sounds like the Queen.”

Gayle Smythson-Petticoat from Cowbridge asked, “Where is this Porthcawl?”


  1. The next morning, Matthew returns to work at the health department and witnesses several schoolchildren being taken for duplication, while more pods are being prepared for the remaining West Coast cities. In the final scene, Matthew ( Donald Sutherland ) demonstrates the characteristic pose by which the “pod people” identify unconverted humans.


  2. “How long has this been going on” sang the band Ace in their 1975 song.

    Which is very apt for the situation my mind is in at the moment.

    Do people from England really holiday in Wales?
    Surely they could do it as a day trip.because let’s face it England is not that far away.

    Not as if they are going to Scotland is it.

    I know other readers praise the journalistic scholastic value of your reporting acumen but surely.this is nit picking.

    Anyway my point. I would love to be a part of a readers wives section as punted by the highly esteemed Pelvis Menthol. I’ve got some corkers too of my wife Anita.

    Send me a sign somehow, a metaphoric green light and I’ll be there. Obviously not in person or spiritually in fact but somehow my presence will be felt.
    Depends what day it is too.


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