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My Rhondda News has learnt from a reliable source that you should all just fecking panic like feck. Go on, panic.

As a reliable news organisation it’s our duty to report on panic buying, if we didn’t we wouldn’t be doing our job. So go buy lots of stuff now, because if you don’t someone else will.

Whilst you are reading this, there are people actually buying stuff right now, stuff you probably need too.

As the virus will probably kill all the cows, we suggest you buy lots and lots of powdered milk, it really does taste as good as fresh milk, you really can’t tell the difference.

It’s also a good idea to stock up powdered eggs, as this virus will probably kill all the chickens too.

Mary Fringe, from Blaenllechau said, “It’s absolutely ridiculous really, I advise you all go out and buy more than you need as soon as Brian’s opens in the morning.”

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