“Gategategate” Escalates as Group Want Gates To Stay

The saga surrounding the controversial Cwmparc gate has taken a dramatic turn, escalating the local “Gategate” dispute into what residents are now exasperatedly calling “Gategategate.” Following mounting pressure from the community, the local council has announced that the contentious structure must be removed, a decision that has sent shockwaves of outrage through the Facebook group, “The Gate Appreciation Society” .

The Gate Appreciation Society loves gates, and had dedicated itself to extolling the virtues of the Cwmparc gate’s “exquisite craftsmanship” and “engineering brilliance”. Alexander Bridge, the group’s once-enthusiastic moderator, posted a scathing message: “This is an outrage! Don’t they understand the artistry? The sheer audacity to tear down such a magnificent piece of timber engineering!”

The group remains steadfast in its admiration. “It’s absolutely ridiculous really, I know that some residents are a little upset and they have made a few badges,” said Bridge, “but we believe that if they take a closer look at the gate’s design and build quality, they’ll appreciate the gate’s true beauty.

Councillor, Lyndon Flaps told My Rhondda News, “There’s no pleasing some people, some want it, some don’t want it, and either way it’s always our bloody fault.”

The council’s decision, while welcomed by the majority of Cwmparc residents eager to reclaim their beloved footpath, has been met with disbelief and accusations of philistinism by the Gate Appreciation Society. Members are now organising a virtual protest, urging supporters flood the council’s social media channels with messages of gate appreciation.

The group has also begun campaigning for the gate to be awarded “Gate of the Year” in the annual gate awards, “It’s a strong contender” Bridge said. “It has everything a modern gate needs, and more.”

My Rhondda News asked Mary Fringe from Blaenllechau for comment, Mary said “Why the hell are you asking me, I’m from the other valley, I’ve never been to Cwmparc.”

Ferndale’s Ceri Jones said, “I can’t believe it’s taking this long to sort out. Seems like an open-and-shut case to me.”