Valleys’ Accent Under Threat From Home Automation Devices

Photo by James Butchly


The much loved, warm, friendly and welcoming sound of the Rhondda Valleys’ accent is in demise and it’s all because of new technology it has emerged.

As the internet of things grows, and more and more valley folk try to keep up with the Jones’ by buying the latest high tech gadgets, homes all over the Rhondda are being kitted out with voice activated automation systems such as Amazon’s Echo.

The trouble is, such devices don’t really cope well with the Rhondda Valleys’ accent, according to one man from Tonypandy.

Paul Grunt from Glandwr Terrace, just up the hill from Home Bargains, thought he’d impress his friends and neighbours with his latest home automation gadgets such as internet ready lightbulbs, a heating thermostat and a voice automation system.

Paul’s voice activated home automation system allowed him to simply speak commands at home, such as…

“Turn the passage light on.”,

“Play my Catatonia playlist.”,

“Text Mam to tell her I’m home safe.”,

and

“Turn the heating up a bit. ”

Mr Grunt soon discovered that he had to say the commands over and over again, speaking a little bit less valleys each time, until the system could understand him.

This had a serious side affect. Basically in the first month that Paul used the system, his strong valley’s accent got a little bit posher every day. So much so, that by the end of the third week when we interviewed Paul, he had gone all posh, and it was like interviewing someone from up London.

“It was quite ridiculous, don’t you know,” said Mr Grunt, “I found one had to change one’s voice in order to make the damn thing understand one’s commands.”

“It had no idea where the passage light was, so one had to change it to the hallway light,” he continued, “plus, one had to stop saying the words but or butty after every sentence.”

Paul had also lost the ability to use double negatives in a sentence.

Professor Luke Hog, an expert in language and accents, told My Rhondda News, “As voice activated devices become more common place, it’s only a matter of time before the entire UK speak using the same accent, even Maerdy.”

The second problem Paul faced was after talking all posh to the device, he had totally lost the ability to speak like someone from the valleys, and got beaten up for sounding too posh when he ordered a pint in his local.

 


8 Comments on "Valleys’ Accent Under Threat From Home Automation Devices"

  1. Rhys ap Tuder-Protheroe | March 31, 2017 at 10:03 am | Reply

    I got one of those smart teles from Samsung.I have to speak to it in Korean to get S4C on !!!

  2. Pelvis Menthol | March 31, 2017 at 11:23 am | Reply

    It’s only going to get worst after we leave Europe, unless of course there more electronics companies relocate to the Valleys and the world will then start speaking proper. We need a Donald Trumpesqe leader to come in and build a wall. I feel sorry for Stephen Hawkins

  3. I never even said nothing to mine and it ordered me a pearl necklace.

  4. My Nan has one of the Amazon ones and all she uses it for is listening to Elvis songs. Fair Play it’s pretty good.

  5. Jeremy Jones | March 31, 2017 at 6:39 pm | Reply

    It was me that gave Paul a clip for talking posh. Tidy like, innit mun ?

  6. Cliff Kozłowski | April 1, 2017 at 7:53 am | Reply

    Is one joking?!
    One is not a happy bunny…

  7. its the same with all them automated ffon answering systems the banks use. “say your date of birth…” it never understands me so I can’t do any bank stuff on the ffon munn.

  8. Dotty Blackeye | June 23, 2017 at 10:37 pm | Reply

    I told mine to take out the bins and the cheeky bastard swore at me!

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